Monogamy and maintaining relationships

For several months, a very interesting experiment was conducted in the laboratory of the University of Florida. A 21-year-old researcher was strictly forbidden to flirt with attractive young people. No matter what they told her, no matter where they invited her, there was not the slightest hint of possible reciprocity in her eyes and words, especially since she did not use makeup or perfume, and her hair was intercepted with a simple elastic band. Jeans and a simple T-shirt made up her suit.

Young people mistook her for a university student. They came to the laboratory on the announcement of the recruitment of volunteers to participate in psychological research. The participation of the youths was reduced to collecting a picture from the Lego blocks, however, after the successful completion of the task, they were somehow asked about the attractiveness of the researcher. Scientists proceeded from the data of previous experiments, in which it turned out that girls and women in the middle of their menstrual cycle, when they have ovulation (egg release), seem much more attractive than usual.

Students really liked the young woman in the days before and after ovulation, but only lonely, who at that time had no relationship with the opposite sex. Those who had everything normal with romance believed that it was much less attractive in these “non-critical” days! Psychologists put forward a hypothesis according to which lovers subconsciously saw in it a threat of their connection – so as not to be “involved” in something else.

The idea of ​​the experiment reflects a new tendency called “Relationship Maintainence”, which opposes understanding of evolution as the maximum number of sexual contacts in order to have more numerous offspring and thereby preserve and transmit their genes to offspring. Everything turned out to be more complicated, and not the way cabinet theorists thought.

Even chimpanzees, who are closest to us from the genomic point of view, are encouraged to maintain long-term ties in pairs, which allows them to successfully resist infant mortality and put offspring on their feet. This kind of behavior is much more complicated than the theory of a glass of water condemned by Krupskaya and Zetkin — making love is as simple and natural as drinking a glass of water.

What holds couples together? Psychologists at the University of Florida believe that this is the happiness and fidelity from which the monogamy of human marriage grew. It was believed that it is supported by the sexual attractiveness of partners. But today we know much more than what the classics thought.

The journal Experimental Social Psychology posted a description of the results of the experiment in its February issue. The sexual attractiveness of women for men who do not support relationships coincides in phase with the menstrual cycle, reaching a peak at the time of ovulation, that is, its fertility (ability to conceive). But where does this secret information come from for men? Her voice and appearance appeal in this state.

In the experiments of the University of Florida, which lasted for three months, 38 young people took part, of which only 12 were in strong relations with the girls. The employee, who was discussed at the very beginning, did not know which of them was single and which was not. She was required to be a gray mouse, so as not to violate the purity of the experiments. Engaged men did not want to see her youthful attractiveness, because they subconsciously choose a strategy for maintaining and maintaining relations. This is the conclusion of scientists, reinforced by the fact that young people outside couples behave in full accordance with the old theories of seduction and fertilization.

Of course, this strategy helps to maintain stable pairs and, accordingly, maintain a completely natural monogamy due to the fact that representatives of both sexes reject “intruders” trying to carry out an unauthorized invasion. But everything is not so simple with new trends, which are also somewhat speculative.

A marriage – legal or civil – easily bursts at the seams if jealousy threatens him when a wife scornfully throws her husband at the beauty that he looked at: “Is this a model? She’s a skeleton with silicone! ”Men really are tempted to get carried away by another, convincing themselves that there is nothing in it – in full accordance with Freud, who wrote about the suppression of desire.

But what to do with those promises that come from an ovulating woman? Dancers in bars, another study showed, sitting down on their knees to men, receive large tips on ovulation days. Ovulation causes an increase in the female voice, which has an exciting effect on men. And we must not forget about that woman’s magical aroma, the smell of which increases the level of the male sex hormone testosterone. People can not describe this in words, but they perfectly feel such important changes in female fertility. It is at the peak of the menstrual cycle that girls and women become much more active, go to the cinema and to parties with dances held there, dress more openly and brightly, allow more contacts and touches. All this does not go unnoticed by men who seem to be unaware of anything.

But scientists emphasize that relationships are killed not only by jealousy, but also episodes of increased criticality towards regular partners that occur just on the days of ovulation. The fleeting desire for a short-term change of a sexual partner does not go unnoticed. These threats to marriage and partnership must be considered by both, so as not to be overwhelmed.

Free men and women are easily seduced by attractive photos on the display, while busy people react differently. They as quickly as possible look away from the screen cuties, diligently showing: “Do not provoke me, do not seduce.” However, when “hiding the face”, both men and women tried to more closely and closely examine the forbidden fruit. Questions posed by psychologists after the “session” revealed less sexual satisfaction with the partner and a more lenient attitude towards possible infidelity.

In this regard, scientists advise not to put too much pressure on a partner who began to look at others: “Too tight control can cause retaliatory fire. It’s better to leave him or her alone for a while, and a relationship preservation strategy will help a person keep themselves from breaking … “

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