Love is one of the subtlest matters in the universe. This matter has been with us all our life, from birth and meeting with a loving mother to death, surrounded by grieving relatives and friends.
But despite the constant presence of love in the life of mankind, each individual individual often can not distinguish love from similar, but very distant from love affections. After all, our subconscious mind often plays along with emotions and plays against reason, which leads a person away from true love.
Let’s try to determine what is often hidden under the concept of “love”.
Understanding (of love in particular) is when thoughts are felt and feelings are meaningful. This is the foundation of the basics. This is the foundation of love. Only when you feel your thoughts and think about your feelings can you achieve such a cherished “Understanding”.
We will divide love into 3 conditional types and we will understand them very carefully (be sure: this will be very useful to you in life!).
1.Sozavisimost. Union of problems and fears.
People believe that they love each other because of the similarity of their problems. This is a difficult moment and it is quite difficult to see and understand, so let’s look at a specific example.
A man and a woman fall in love because of the similarity in the fact that they like to travel very much, but over time it turns out that their main and main similarity is not in traveling love, but that they cannot live in one place (they get bored and bad) and they need to constantly run away from something and somewhere. Of course, that 2 such birds with “broken wings” in reality most likely will not be able to get along together, because their identical problems (which they are very worried about), uniting, will intensify many times, and the desire to travel will be only a temporary way to close my eyes to real problem.
In the end, they simply begin to run away from reality in different directions, and for one of them (or both) this will be the destruction of “love”.
We all really want to find people like us, but it is very difficult for us to find similarity in something good, and therefore we find similarity in something bad.
Very often in such relationships, people begin to play roles as if they were actors. A husband in such a marriage can play the role of the wife’s father, whom she loved and appreciated, but who beat her for the slightest mistake. A woman grew up and found a husband for herself according to the criterion “he punishes me just as well”.
A wife can play the role of a husband’s mother. He loved and respected his mother, but she constantly watched his every move, limiting his freedom and his own decisions. The man grew up, started his own business, but having found a similar wife, who, like his mother, is following him, could not continue to do his job normally and became a drunkard.
As the saying goes: “You find a woman who looks like her mother, and then you remember that you” hate “your mother.”
In such a pseudo-love, people constantly lie to each other for any reason, hide various meaningless little things and try to distort information as if they are working in intelligence. This is an unconscious attempt to “wash hands” from such love – to escape and hide as soon as possible. Our subconscious mind understands our problem, but we, alas, do not.
How to avoid such a relationship?
Be a self-sufficient person.
Such a person does not need to run away from himself, he is constantly moving forward and looking for new ways for self-development. Seeing an unstable person next to him, he will not follow her lead, but (in the ideal version) will help him find himself.
This is a condition that millions of partners daily mistake for love.
In fact, this is love based on “drug addiction,” in which sex, tenderness, attention, and any other positive that partners deliver to each other can be a drug. This love is very easy and quick, it literally captivates the minds of people and they can no longer be without each other even for a short time.
This is not true love, but it is an amazing love that gives a lot of joy and pleasure. The question is rather in duration: such love can quickly “pass”, and even very quickly, especially if the partners do not know how to build and develop their relationship.
This is especially noticeable when a person refuses to improve for the sake of his partner or when he cannot sacrifice something minimal for the sake of mutual happiness.
The difference between love and love
Love is the following formula:
A man loves his partner because he needs him
True Love, with a capital letter (which will be discussed later) is such a formula:
A man needs his partner because he loves him
The difference would seem to be not big, but the whole point is in it.
In the stage of falling in love, there is no complicated building of relationships, since people in “narcotic falling in love” are always inclined to simply close their eyes for the time being, without really solving real problems.
3. True Love
True Love is a finite, immeasurable phenomenon, the foundation of a relationship, stronger and more reliable of which there is nothing.
All further philosophical debates about what “love” does not have their real meaning, since the famous psychologist E. Fromm found a simple formula:
I need a man since I love him
When you need a person because you love him, it is true love.
When you love a person because you need him, it is an addiction, not love.
True love is NOT a drug, so if a situation arises when you need to leave your partner (if he has a reason for it), you should understand this and let him go. This is unlikely to happen, because if it is true love, then it is mutual, but you must be ready to do absolutely everything for your partner.
In true love, there is no deception, in true love, a person speaks only the truth to his partner (even if such a truth threatens their relationship), because he thinks about his partner and does not want to hide anything from him.
True love is a complex construction of relationships, which even if very complex, in fact turns out to be very simple – this strange regularity-paradox shows that in this case, any investment invested justifies the result – a happy relationship in an atmosphere of true love.
How to find your true love?
You will not believe it, but it is quite simple. You need not look for love, but you just need to remove all the barriers and difficulties on the path to achieving it. Accidents are not accidental, but only if nothing prevents them.
Remember that people, finding true love, always become better, kinder and happier. They are changing for the better, since love is the foundation of happiness and life in general!